We've all heard about the overbearing mother who wants to run the wedding-- but what to do?! Having someone like myself around (aka, a wedding planner) can help a lot; frequently mothers feel like their daughter's wedding is something they should be helping to plan. Traditionally, it is; times have changed, however, and during my wedding my mother and I were both working more than full time, my mother-in-law to be and almost all my bridesmaids were in different states, and life was generally hectic. I would have killed, even on my limited budget, to have a wedding planner!
If your mother gets upset and you don't have someone to help sort the situation out, explain that you value her opinion and find something she's wonderful at that she can help with. Her feelings may be hurt in the short run, but when she's relaxed enough on your wedding day to enjoy herself she will see that it was all in love! Not to mention, it's not selfish or outrageous for everything to contribute something amazing to the wedding. My mother, who did more than what she got credit for, was given a break until the week of when I begged her to do the flowers. There was miscommunication on the design I wanted, but when I saw them I almost cried-- they were perfect!! I suspect that even if she only does one thing for recognition, your mother will be as thrilled as mine at the love you have for what she's done!